First, THANK YOU ALL for your kinds words and messages. The response to my I Fell Down and Broke My Crown post has been incredible and it's truly comforting to know that I have so much support out there and that all of you are so willing to be a helping hand or perhaps more accurately, a shoulder to lean on.
The past weeks have been... well, one day at a time, piece by piece, putting things back together again. I started off slow, easy. Routine had been my saving grace and has done wonders in getting me back closer towards an even keel. I wake up in the morning, usually just before dawn, and read for about an hour or at least however long I feel compelled to read. The reading material of course is of the personal development type (or what might be known as self improvement to the less initiated).
After reading, I knit. Yes. You read that correctly. I learned to knit years ago and found it amazingly relaxing and a great way for me to just zone out. It's meditative in a sense that it's puts me on autopilot so my thoughts aren't running away with me.
And that's the key. The point of strictly keeping to this very calming, very meditative routine is to keep my mind from perpetually going down the rabbit hole and getting lost in the funky quagmire of negative thoughts and emotions. I've since added exercise back into my routine, another habit that I could always count on to clear my head.
So, little by little I add to this routine, taking focus away from the old patterns of thought and putting into action these new habits which may be somewhat mechanical but are definitely calming activities. Because isn't that we do when we find ourselves in "funks"? All we can think about is how unhappy we are and of all the things we're unhappy about and before you know it our minds have run away with us and we're left drowning.
That's why the routine. Reading, knitting, going for long runs, this routine is helping me break that pattern.
Has it been easy? No. With my life inching evermore into the public sphere and with the holiday season being in full swing, it's difficult to have any time to myself.
But as long as I stick to this routine, piece by piece, this Humpty Dumpty will put himself back together again.
***My posts are only meant to share my experiences and personal insights with you. Remember, if you are suffering from depression, whether it's to loved ones or to a professional, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP***